One thing I have always found really hard being part of a blended family and having my daughter parent separately from me with her dad and his family is how she is being raised. Our relationship did not work together because it was not a happy environment and because our ideals did not connect and were not compatible with each other. Whilst I am happy, of course, that she enjoys spending time with her family that are separate from me, I know there are certain things that they do which are affecting how I want her to be raised.
Children really need stability and when you don’t have that open connection with other family members to say this is how it needs to be done, or when they just refuse to listen to you it can be very tiring. However, what I can do is control the environment and my attitude that she sees to ensure that she does have a stable, happy and secure childhood which will hopefully lead to her having gratitude and working hard in the future.
My daughter is hard working, a bit of a perfectionist and has a great sense of humour. She is always kind, always sharing and holds lovely conversations with you. She can also be stubborn, stompy and stroppy although I think that’s just children really. They all let out their frustrations at some point especially when you are parenting harder decisions, have to say no or ask them to tidy their room for the fifth time that day…
I want my children to grow up in a happy, loved environment where they look back on their time with us as youngsters with fond memories. I want them to know that we had plenty of kisses and cuddles, adventures and holidays, doing the every day things and the more exciting things together. I love my children very much and I want that love to come across.
I also want them to see that myself and my partner work hard for us to go on holidays and that it’s never to let to pursue your dreams. I have a home based business which brings me so much happiness and my daughter often sees me working at the computer but she knows that she can speak to me whenever, that I am here and that I can actually stop for a moment if and when she needs me. My daughter has also witnessed my partner make a big change in his life by committing to completing an access course so he could go to University as a mature student. I hope these things allow my children to see that it is never to late to make a lifestyle change.
I want my children to be grateful for what they have, particularly as my daughter and I spent ten months living together in a hostel, something she does not really remember very much unless we walk passed the building. I want her to know and remember that we had very little and through hard work, love, determination and gratitude we are in a safer and loving environment.
My daughter struggles because we live in a flat without a garden, and she does not like this and often speaks out about it. We calmly remind her that we will move into a nicer home one day with a garden for her but in the meantime isn’t it nice that we have a safe home and lots of family close by with gardens that she can play in. I think I will start encouraging her to right her own gratitude list and saying thanks for the things she has to help her see that she has some very lovely things and people in her life. That she has lots to be thankful for.
Raising grateful kids will allow them to continue having gratitude for the people and things in their life in the future and hopefully it will help increase their positive mental attitude.