Do you ever feel like you hold grudges? I know I do and these grudges or inability to forgive those that have wronged us can serve as mental blocks and stop us from manifesting that ideal lifestyle that we truly want and deserve. Forgiveness is key if you really want to start manifesting more of what you want into your life.
One thing I recently learned was just because we are forgiving a person for something that they have done to us, particularly if these events are traumatic, we are not excusing their behaviour. By forgiving them, we are simply saying to them, to ourselves and to the universe that that action or consequence was not our fault, that we are not in control of someone elses thoughts, words or actions and that we deserve to be free of the pain they have caused us.
I found one of the hardest things of forgiving was accepting forgiveness for someone that had emotionally and physically abused me. Whilst I will never say I was perfect in that relationship as it was a highly toxic environment I acknowledged that I was not blameless in my own actions and I am sorry to have caused another person any form of hurt. However, I also accept that the environment was negative and that I could not control the other person’s actions and reactions. I could not control the words that someone else decided to speak. To move away from this negative space and a part of my past that brings up a lot of emotions I simply forgive them.
I say simply, but the process was hard. I ended up writing down all the things that I felt were wrong and that had been done wrong to me. I wrote them all down and let go of every bit of pain that was held within those feelings and actions. I allowed myself time to process them and then accept that I had moved on. I am in a much safer, healthier and positive space now that allows me to forgive and I am so grateful for that. The things I have experienced have not been easy and they have shaped me and formed the path that I have walked to get me to where I am today. However, those feelings of shame, anger and hurt do not serve my future and do not affect how I live life today.
I have gone through stages of sadness, hardship, anger, a feeling of being emotionally broken and now to simply nothing. I do not feel anger or hatred or love towards that person. I actually, do not feel anything for them. They are simply not in my thoughts now and I do not feel they are really part of my life. The phrase I tried to use when forgiving was this
“I’m sorry too, thank you. I forgive you.”
You could also try
“Thank you, I forgive you. I’m sorry, I love you.” However for some of those wrong actions I struggled with the I love you part.
Forgiveness allowed me to process my emotions and think about why things make me overwhelmed. It was a process to really let go and I felt emotionally drained yet cleansed and lighter after really allowing myself time to focus on forgiveness. This also applies to forgiving yourself for any time you’ve felt a missed opportunity, you’ve let yourself down or you’ve allowed your inner dialogue to take a negative turn. Forgiveness, for others, as well as for ourselves is vitally important.