How To Improve Your Inner Dialogue

We all pretty much talk to ourselves don’t we? In a kind of “Oh you forgot your keys again, stupid” kind of way rather than anything else I mean. Our thoughts are generally about what we’ve done, doing or will do and it’s so important to build up those thoughts with empowering, positive self talk.

This self talk can actually have a massive affect on our positive outlook, the energies we are giving out and bringing in to our lives. It can set ourselves up for a bad day and it can bring on our own paranoia, anxiety and stress that is totally unneeded. Be kind to yourself, you deserve kindness, you are totally worthy of it.

I really struggle with positive self-talk. Years of toxic relationships, bad choices in the workplace and dropping out of college and then later of University has lead me to question the way I see myself. It’s actually taken a great amount of effort to think of myself as a nice person. How silly is that really, that before I might not have considered myself to be a nice, or a good, person.

Here are a few ways you can improve your self talk to be more positive.

  1. Affirmations. Little sayings you can start the day with. I find having a positive post it note on the cupboard above the kettle in the morning gives me a chance to start my day thinking and talking with a positive mental attitude. I look up at it and think about how I can make my day positive whilst waiting for the kettle to boil. Starting with something like, today I will have a good day or today I will be kind to myself are great starting points. You can make this a really nice part of your morning routine. 
  2. Take time to like you. I once heard in a conference how someone struggled to give themselves any kind of self love. They tried to start by looking in the mirror, right in the eyes and saying “I like myself.” – This can be really hard if you struggle with self confidence about your appearance but going back to that bathroom mirror every time you wash your hands a quick glance up and an “I like who I see” can really start making the world of difference. Being surrounded by positive people who love and respect you also really helps you like yourself a little more.
  3. Gratitude Journal. Writing down a few things at the end of the day that you are grateful for can be an absolute game changer when it comes to your daily outlook. It can really help you to think about the lovely things you’ve done and sending a few positive wishes to friends, family and loved ones can leave you feeling really calm. I find this so useful and it really helps my stress levels as it’s now part of my calm down evening routine. Showing and practising gratitude is a great way to improve how you feel about your life.
  4. Getting a good night sleep. Another thing that is super important for our mental well-being is a good night sleep. It’s so hard for parents to sleep well these days but we always feel so much better after a good few hours of uninterrupted sleep. A good night sleep sets you up for the next day and will probably help keep you staying positive.
  5. Do things that make you feel good. A bubble bath, a shower with some essential oils, your favourite snack, a few pages of a good book…spending a little bit of time each day on yourself, on what you enjoy doing means you’re making a bit of time for you. Telling yourself that you are worth that time, that the time for you is important and that you are allowed that little bit of time will really help you not feel guilty about taking time out of the daily grind. I personally love doing my Aqua Fit classes, reading and playing video games to help me unwind.
  6. Help Other People. Now this never has to be a big deal, giving to a charity, volunteering, helping someone with shopping, donating some cans to a food bank…anything that helps another will really help your self worth. Partner this by saying “Giving makes me feel good.” and you’ll always associate helping others with happy and positive feelings.
  7. Check yourself. If a negative thought comes into your mind, check the facts. Is what you’re thinking actually true? Are you self sabotaging? I am SO good at self sabotage it’s untrue. I am my toughest and roughest critique and it’s something I have to work on constantly. I have noticed that the work I put in to improve my self talk means that usually, any negative thoughts that come into my mind are usually almost laughable because I know instinctively that they’re just not true.
  8. Have a list of your positive qualities. This might be short at first if you aren’t already thinking kind thoughts towards yourself but honestly, writing them down and reviewing these thoughts from time to time can do wonders for your self esteem. It’s really nice when you get to add to them with things like “Today I helped…and it felt good.” “Today, I liked my smile.” or “Today, I am positive.” You can keep these in a journal and read these to yourself in the morning or before bed to remind yourself that you are absolutely wonderful.

So there are just a few of the things I do to encourage positive self talk. What do you do?

Seaside at sunset, lights in a glass jar, blog post on how to improve positive self talk

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9 thoughts on “How To Improve Your Inner Dialogue

  1. Liberty on the Lighter Side - (LoLS) says:

    Wise words, I love the helping other people option, it always makes you feel better and puts your own struggles in to perspective too. It never fails to amaze me how I can say such nice things to other people and yet such terrible things to myself, I read a similar post this morning and was reminded that we need to preach to ourselves more and listen to ourselves less! #TheMMLinky

    Liked by 2 people

  2. nightwisprav3n says:

    I started out by talking positively to myself in the mirror and I remember how hard that was. I forced myself to do it because I had heard that it works. It did start to work within a few weeks. Now I’m all about self-care and speaking to myself in a positive way. I also think that surrounding yourself with positive people is an absolute necessity. #anythinggoes

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Marylin - SoftThistle Life says:

    Loved reading this! I started my journey towards changing my negative self talk with a daily gratitude list. Just three things every day that I was grateful for. Some days it was HARD, but I could still find my three things, even if it was as simple as “I only hit snooze on my alarm once – go me!”.
    These days my confidence in myself is so much higher than it’s ever been, and I credit my kids for that. They’re 12 and 10 now and my youngest is autistic. I see what amazing people they’re becoming and how well they’re doing in life and I know that’s down to me. It’s a pretty amazing feeling to have! ❤ #TheMMLinky

    Liked by 2 people

  4. sensationallearning says:

    I’m fairly good at being kind to myself now, but it does take consious effort. A couple of years ago I did something similar to a ‘gratidude journal’: I posted a facebook uppdate each day of three positives from my day. It could be small things, like “walked past some lovely rose bushes and stopped to breath in their scent” or “really enjoyed doing a jigsaw with my son this evening”. It made me more aware of all the positives of everyday life, and on bad days, I really searched out positives to make sure I’d have three for my daily update. That in turn made me make time for good moments at the end of the day, like stepping outside to take in the sunset, or light candles and play music at bathtime etc. To savour everyday, which in turn helped me feel better about both myself and life in general. A positive outlook and inner dialogue doesn’t fix everything that’s negative in life, but it does give me the energy to cope better with the bad sides. Thank you for an encouraging post! xx #TheMMlinky

    Liked by 2 people

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